---
id: f2f6b3b5-b35c-49bf-ab94-61559888fe81
title: |
  noboilerplate/scripts/27-coping-mechanisms.md at main · 0atman/noboilerplate
status: ARCHIVED
tags:
  - read-later
date_added: 2024-03-25 17:12:00
url_omnivore: |
  https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294
url_original: |
  https://github.com/0atman/noboilerplate/blob/main/scripts/27-coping-mechanisms.md
---

# noboilerplate/scripts/27-coping-mechanisms.md at main · 0atman/noboilerplate

## Highlights

If something comes to mind, or someone tells you something important, YOU MUST WRITE IT DOWN in a trusted system 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#901e24a0-6646-4f53-9233-fa3a627f1289) 

---

This theory is called Active Externalism.

--- 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#1f3cdbf9-2b58-4a65-9f83-c055ecff679d) 

---

Put EVENTS on your calendar. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#0ae3ba38-15fe-4264-85b9-a355e502dc1c) 

---

Events are not tasks that have a due date - those things should go in a task management system. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#c091f165-7a83-42d6-bb28-7979d4d243c9) 

---

If it can be done before the due date, it's a task, not an event. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#f8d8cb12-333a-44d4-82e5-124c2347f084) 

---

Carry earplugs 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#ea1eceab-55f2-4482-bad4-fcc08ad1f565) 

---

What you're going to do is, at the first hint of confusion or misunderstanding, say "I'm sorry, I don't understand" and let them try again. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#87395a65-15a8-439b-a946-257d5e715d34) 

---

You need context in communication like you're talking to a deep space probe Ask for what you need, which is for context to be included in what people ask of you. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#c2ce3a46-c55a-48b6-b60d-b030d551ffce) 

---

All relevant information must be inside the message. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#259b5f32-a40a-4252-a9ea-346987131a80) 

---

Use a Note-Taking System 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#f0f29fde-8f78-43a8-aa02-c58d5f25225c) 

---

This is important, Past Tris. Don't. Open. Your. Browser. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#5bc8f767-dc93-4f00-8723-dbb16e62af1b) 

---

The first coping mechanism in this framework is eat the frog, which means to do the least pleasant or hardest task first. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#b5408b52-072f-498d-9520-f42856d150dd) 

---

There's a good but boring book called Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith, that I recommend you read, or ideally get someone to summarise it for you. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#e9fe7791-4063-4aa6-9c9e-641d506560ae) 

---

Pay attention to people who seem like they know what they are talking about and figure out what makes them so good at explaining their thoughts. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#96ab7872-b330-4a81-a5fe-0d6191720a0f) 

---

Study, imitate and practice. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#378de782-f5e4-4fe3-baa0-4836b3a896bd) 

---

Save your energy by focusing on the positives 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#e79fffb1-82c5-4955-8964-cb780627117d) 

---

Notice the negatives, but feel the positives. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#45a4b54b-2ed2-40f1-b6cf-215f963e0014) 

---

You have to FOCUS. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#706cd560-3e18-4abf-b45c-19b220a270d8) 

---

## 15\. Just do a bit

[](#15-just-do-a-bit)

> You put one word after another until its done. It's that easy, and that hard.

— Neil Gaiman 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#e41df1e5-9e90-4c91-809f-d2ae6e11c04d) 

---

I trick my brain into doing this with Timers. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#52577fa3-2e0f-4f1d-af34-7d69308e3e15) 

---

## 17\. humanize organize mechanize

[](#17-humanize-organize-mechanize)

notes: This is how I build systems, both in my life and professionally.

**Humanise**  
Do everything manually, on paper if needed, for many iterations.

**Organise**  
Notice the patterns that are creeping into your methods.

**Mechanise**  
Automate those patterns in a system, either by writing checklists, flowcharts or software. 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#26170aa1-0968-4106-819c-d090079d8379) 

---

## One thing at a time

[](#one-thing-at-a-time)

## most important thing first

[](#most-important-thing-first)

## Start now 

[source](https://omnivore.app/me/noboilerplate-scripts-27-coping-mechanisms-md-at-main-0-atman-no-18e773dc294#cc6de1c2-538f-4cd2-b994-db98ed8bcdac) 

---

## Original

<style> :root {--r-code-font: "FiraCode Nerd Font";} .reveal .hljs {min-height: 50%;} </style>

%%

f7f7f7 background slide colour

* title formatting

%%

!\[\[tri-hex-moon-white-transparent.png|300\]\]

## Hacking your brain

[](#hacking-your-brain)

### With elaborate coping mechanisms

[](#with-elaborate-coping-mechanisms)

notes: %%

* Tell them what you're going to tell them
* Tell them
* Tell them what you told them %% Hi friends my name is Tris and this is No Boilerplate, focusing on fast, technical videos.

Some people seem to have life figured out don't they.

I don't, I'm learning every day, but I do have some EXTREMELY elaborate coping mechanisms that make me productive, easier in social situations, and happier, i think, in life.

Today I'm going to share them with you in the form of an open letter to my past self.

Bear in mind that I am not an expert in anything really, certainly not the human brain. I can't even edit video, and I'm not very good at Rust.

However I have managed to become highly productive with these coping mechanisms, and perhaps some of them will work for you.

---

## Public Domain Videos

[](#public-domain-videos)

[github.com/0atman/noboilerplate/](https://github.com/0atman/noboilerplate/)

notes: Everything you see in this video from the script to the images are part of a markdown document available on github under a public domain license.

---

!\[\[newspaper-youtuber.jpg\]\]

notes:

Hello past Tris, it's me, Future Tris. Stop spending all of my money!

I have some important things to tell you that will make your life easier. I wish I had learned these earlier, so I'm going to give you a head start.

Also buy apple stock, don't sell those bitcoins in 2015, and you can break up with her, it's ok, you'll both be fine.

---

## 1\. Declare bankruptcy on your memory

[](#1-declare-bankruptcy-on-your-memory)

notes:

Tris, we've given it a good go, you and I, haven't we.

You will learn, as so many have done before you, that your brain is for HAVING ideas, not STORING ideas.

That advice is probably valid for anyone, but it's ESPECIALLY valid for you and I.

At this point in your life, you still think you can remember things like everyone else, I imagine? You can't. And maybe they can't either. The sooner you realise this, the sooner you can build systems to easily replace this missing ability. And I'll help you there.

---

## 2\. Carry a notebook

[](#2-carry-a-notebook)

!\[\[field-notes.png|700\]\]

notes:

When are you, about 2005? ew. So, no smartphone (you're gonna hate them) get a nice pocketable notebook. Field Notes are fine, but pricey If you can bear to have a notebook that doesn't have a ruler printed in the back, you can buy cheap alternatives for a dollar.

Or a pound. Look, we all talk in dollars now, get used to it.

==If something comes to mind, or someone tells you something important, YOU MUST WRITE IT DOWN in a trusted system==

---

## Active Externalism

[](#active-externalism)

> I'm not writing it down to remember later, I'm writing it down to remember NOW.

notes:

A lot of the memory techniques I'm going to talk about change your understanding of your mind from something that is exclusively inside your head, to something that can be augmented by paper, pencil, and digital methods

==This theory is called Active Externalism.==

---

## 3\. Calendars

[](#3-calendars)

## are GREAT

[](#are-great)

notes:

I think you have a google account in 2005, you and I are early adopters, which is always exciting if not relaxing.

==Put EVENTS on your calendar.==

Events are things you can miss if you forget them and sit at home all weekend watching South Park while all your friends have fun. Oh, that oddly-specific example hasn't happened to you yet? It will. Remember to use a calendar.

==Events are not tasks that have a due date - those things should go in a task management system.==

==If it can be done before the due date, it's a task, not an event.==

---

## 4\. Getting Things Done (GTD)

[](#4-getting-things-done-gtd)

notes:

There are a lot of task management systems, even in your time. The one that fits the shape of our brain best is David Allen's GTD.

GTD has tasks split into projects like many others, but the differentiating factor that makes it work for us is that tasks also have a Context tag, like 'laptop', 'home', 'work', or whatever you want.

The reason this works for us is that when you are physically IN a certain context, you can filter out all the rubbish that by definition you CAN'T do at the moment.

Task systems that don't do this filtering create more undue distractions.

---

## 5\. ==Carry earplugs==

[](#5-carry-earplugs)

notes:

OK sorry you had to find out like this in front of 100,000 of our closest friends, but you, my dude, have autism.

Right? Makes sense now I say it out loud doesn't it? It's no biggie, a lot of folks do.

You know how you don't like pubs, clubs, stadia and other noisy places? Surprise! That's called sensory overload, and is an Autism symptom.

wear earplugs to relieve this symptom.

There's a lot of earplug options, from the classic foam cylinders to mouldable wax. I've heard that wax ear plugs can get stuck in there, so don't use those, I like the ones that look like rounded foam earbuds, very comfy.

---

## 6\. In the face of ambiguity,

[](#6-in-the-face-of-ambiguity)

## refuse the temptation

[](#refuse-the-temptation)

## to guess

[](#to-guess)

❯ python -c "import this" | grep ambiguity
In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess.

notes:

OK, so while we're talking about Autism, let's talk about all those misunderstandings that happen when you talk to people.

Neurotypical people have a lot more bandwidth available in their communications than you or I do. They take into consideration body language, tone, vocal hesitations, and extrapolate enormous amounts of information when talking.

AND THEY EXPECT YOU TO DO THE SAME.

You're not going to do that, nor should you have to.

==What you're going to do is, at the first hint of confusion or misunderstanding, say "I'm sorry, I don't understand" and let them try again.==

If they continue to give you incomplete confusing information, you are going to say again, patiently, "I don't understand", don't worry they won't mind repeating themselves, they all love talking, it'll help them too, trust me.

And if on the third utterance they still don't make sense, you say "I'm sorry, I don't think YOU understand". Because half the time they DON'T, and it's not your responsibility to teach them how to communicate.

---

!\[\[white-logo.png|400\]\] notes:

==You need context in communication like you're talking to a deep space probe
Ask for what you need, which is for context to be included in what people ask of you.==

==All relevant information must be inside the message.==

It's a long way back home.

Let me take a break from my open letter for a moment.

Friends, I hope to not only teach myself, I'm hoping to teach and help everyone.

---

!\[\[lt-shuttle-screenshot.png\]\]

Watch on YouTube or at [LostTerminal.com](https://lostterminal.com/)

notes: In addition to this no boilerplate video, I've put together 12 seasons so far of my scifi, hopepunk, mental health story podcast, Lost Terminal, and thousands of lovely people tune in each week.

It's very reasonable for an AI to have difficulty understanding other people's emotions, or struggle with his own, and framing this as an AI challenge allows me to talk about autism in a safe environment. In later seasons, my research has allowed me to branch out into other mental health and LGBT issues too, all with the same AI lens.

I'd love for you to watch or listen to the first season, I've linked it here, and at the end of the video, or in the description.

back to the letter

---

## 7\. ==Use a Note-Taking System==

[](#7-use-a-note-taking-system)

notes:

Tris, There are many note-taking systems available, even in 2005, and the one feature you should look for in any of them is the ability to link between pages. Yes, hyperlinks. This is the whole point of the web and is its killer feature.

You can use a wiki for this, there are several available, but you can also use Markdown.

---

## 8\. Plain Text

[](#8-plain-text)

## lasts forever

[](#lasts-forever)

notes:

If Your brain is going to be external to your head, it should be in plain text. Not a propitiatory database hidden inside some app waiting for the company to go out of business.

As an example, my show Lost Terminal is set in the future some time after the environmental collapse, and in the story, the survivors STILL HAVE plain text digital records. You know what they don't have? iCloud.

My brain is stored in plain text, marked up with Markdown, inside Obsidian.

---

!\[\[obsidian-hopepunk.png\]\]

[obsidian.md](http://obsidian.md/) (not sponsored, other editors available)

notes:

Every wiki page I read, every blog, every article, if it could be relevant to my work, I copy and paste into my brain, for later linking and extraction.

This is a simple screenshot of the wikipedia article on Hopepunk, the cosy, safe genre that Lost Terminal sits in.

But through the plugin system, Obsidian, and therefore my brain, can be as complex as it needs to be.

---

!\[\[obsidian-lt-12.png\]\]

notes:

Here is the workspace I use for writing Lost Terminal. We've got widgets written in a few lines of javascript embedded on the page, and in the side panes.

In the morning, I open this up, set a timer, and write my word count before opening my browser.

==This is important, Past Tris.
Don't. Open. Your. Browser.==

---

## 9\. Eat the frog

[](#9-eat-the-frog)

notes:

Like a lot of other people discovered in 2020, you also have ADHD.

What happened in 2020 to cause this? I'll just say that a LOT of people's work routines were disrupted and they were expected to be much more autonomous then before, exposing the underlying problem.

Don't worry about it, you've got a while till it happens.

So the frameworks that people realised they needed to be productive, you're going to build for yourself.

==The first coping mechanism in this framework is eat the frog, which means to do the least pleasant or hardest task first.==

Don't let it loom over you while you do other easy things on your task list like laundry or shopping.

Do the hardest thing first.

---

## 10\. Build habits

[](#10-build-habits)

## Then chain them together

[](#then-chain-them-together)

> wake → water → yoga → write → shower

notes:

==There's a good but boring book called Triggers by Marshall Goldsmith, that I recommend you read, or ideally get someone to summarise it for you.==

Pay attention to what is making you do thing, its trigger, like a location, a song, a person or a thought. Then build a feedback loop to improve and chain these triggers together.

---

## 1.017 \= 1.07

[](#1017--107)

#### but

[](#but)

## 1.01365 \= 37.78

[](#101365--3778)

notes:

tiny daily change adds up cumulatively over time.

You won't see it at first, but if you, for example, write 400 words every single day, in a year you'll have 4 whole seasons of a podcast, or many novels, or video scripts, or whatever it is you want to do.

If you spend you time bouncing between 3 apps, you'll end the year with nothing.

---

## 11\. Public speaking is important

[](#11-public-speaking-is-important)

notes:

I'm very good at public speaking NOW, so it all works out eventually, but that is because I PRACTISED a lot.

Yes that thing mum and dad asked us to do for the piano and we never did.

At university you are going to realise public speaking is going to be

1. a problem and
2. mandatory in the wider world.

==Pay attention to people who seem like they know what they are talking about and figure out what makes them so good at explaining their thoughts.==Don't bother with persuasion or rhetoric, we're not here for that, we're here to talk to people clearly and precisely.

==Study, imitate and practice.==

---

## 12.

[](#12)

## Imitate

[](#imitate)

## imitate

[](#imitate-1)

## imitate

[](#imitate-2)

notes:

Pay attention to how people act, then do what they do.

This works as well in a sprint planning meeting as it does on the dance floor.

---

## 13\. Negative emotions are not very useful

[](#13-negative-emotions-are-not-very-useful)

notes:

I don't know why neurotypical people romanticise jealousy as protectiveness, anger as passion, greed as ambition, but you don't need to learn these emotions. And if you have learned them, you certainly don't need to practice them. In fact, do the opposite.==Save your energy by focusing on the positives==, there's a lot to be happy about in our life, we're extremely fortunate!

HOWEVER negative emotions are not ENTIRELY un-useful!

Remember that girl I mentioned earlier? You'll stay with her because you're minimising the negative emotions you're feeling. That's not good.

You're not a robot, I know, but throuhg practice you can choose what to feel, and what to notice.==Notice the negatives, but feel the positives.==

==You have to FOCUS.==

---

## 14.

[](#14)

## _F o c u s_

[](#f-o-c-u-s)

notes:

there's dozens of new programming languages per year, just choose one and try it. There's lots of games to play, don't scroll your steam library, just choose one and play it. There's an infinite amount of news available to read, use rss feeds, and filters, not firehose scrolling and read important things deeply.

---

## ==15. Just do a bit==

[](#15-just-do-a-bit)

> ==You put one word after another until its done. It's that easy, and that hard.==

==— Neil Gaiman==

notes:

The plural of word is sentence, the plural of sentence is paragraph and the plural of paragraph means you're done and can go back to playing video games.

It's like a reverse Zenos's paradox, just put one word in front of the other and you'll get there.

==I trick my brain into doing this with Timers.==

---

## 16\. Timers

[](#16-timers)

## are GREAT

[](#are-great-1)

notes:

I run my life on timers, and you should too. I'm writing this with a timer running, in 14 minutes I'll have a break and a cup of tea.

Then after that I'll do a bit more.

---

!\[\[napchart-pomodoro.png\]\]

notes:

There's a light system for organising your timers called the Pomodoro Technique

The default recommendations are to set a timer for 20 minutes, work as fast as you can, then when the timer goes off, set another for 5 minutes and have a break.

This ends up, tricking us into HOURS of high-quality, focussed work!

Here's an example schedule, some work in the morning, a lot of work in the afternoon, and a bit before bed.

I know you go to bed late, Past Tris, so I tweaked this just for you.

Would you believe me that these days I get up early and love it? No, probably I wouldn't have believed me either.

---

## ==17. humanize organize mechanize==

[](#17-humanize-organize-mechanize)

==notes:
This is how I build systems, both in my life and professionally.==

**==Humanise==**  
==Do everything manually, on paper if needed, for many iterations.==

**==Organise==**  
==Notice the patterns that are creeping into your methods.==

**==Mechanise==**  
==Automate those patterns in a system, either by writing checklists, flowcharts or software.==

---

!\[\[27-coping-mechanisms 2023-06-07 15.21.56.excalidraw\]\]

notes:

Here's a trivial algorithm I set up for myself. I don't know why I need to drink so much water, but every body is different I suppose! In addition to waking up and drinking 500ml before breakfast, this little system works for me, at the first sign of a headache.

---

## 18.

[](#18)

## ==One thing at a time==

[](#one-thing-at-a-time)

## ==most important thing first==

[](#most-important-thing-first)

## ==Start now==

[](#start-now)

notes: Really that's what all my advice comes down to, past Tris. Choose what you want to do and do it.

Keep at it champ, I'm proud of you, it all works out in the end!

---

!\[\[tri-hex-moon-white-transparent.png|300\]\]

## Thank you

[](#thank-you)

notes:

## OUTRO

[](#outro)

If you would like to support my channel, get early ad-free and tracking-free videos and vip discord access head to patreon.com/noboilerplate.

If you're interested in transhumanism and hopepunk stories, please check out my sci-fi podcast, Lost Terminal.

Or if urban fantasy is more your bag, do listen to a strange and beautiful podcast I produce called Modem Prometheus.

Transcripts and compile-checked markdown sourcecode are available on github, links in the description, and corrections are in the pinned ERRATA comment.

Thank you so much for watching, talk to you on Discord.

  println!("That's all folks!");
} 